Tiger, we hardly knew ye
Will de Kypia

                             "Tyger Tyger, burning bright,

                             on the fairways of the night."

                                     Roger the Beekeeper

Say it ain't so,Tiger,

please tell us it ain't so,

that it’s all a pack of lies

from those paparazzi spies.

You don't know those ladies,

wouldn't touch 'em if you did.

The only things you care about

are golf, your wife, the kids.

Or did man-drugs send you off

in search of undomestic thrills?

I get those emails all the time

touting cheap Canadian pills.

Maybe pharmaceuticals were

coursing through your brain,

meds you had to take to ease

the ache of legs in so much pain.

Say it ain't so, Tiger,

please swear that it ain't so.

And when you get a chance, give

our regards to Lance and Joe.


Lance Armstrong is an American cyclist and seven-time winner of the Tour de France. He lost his titles and was banned from cycling after an investigation into his use of performance enhancing drugs. He eventually made a "limited confession" to doping.

Shoeless Joe Jackson was a member of the infamous "Black Sox," eight Chicago White Sox players accused of throwing the 1919 World Series. According to an apocryphal story, one young fan asked him to say the accusation wasn't true and Joe replied "Yes, kid, I'm afraid it is."

Beam Me Up >Scotty