Sister 🧙🏻‍♀️🐦‍⬛ Frances ™
Animal Communicator and
Behavior Modification Specialist

Have you ever wondered…

Why Polly.🦜.doesn’t play
well with the other parrots?

What Mimi 🐱 expects you to do
with all those things she drags in?
 
How your koalas 🐨 and your pandas 🐼
turned into such picky eaters, and
how you might mend them?
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Sister Frances™ can help you better
understand your always beloved but
often puzzling animal companions.

And she can teach misbehaving companions
to comport themselves more appropriately.

Her amazing aptitude for communicating
with the animal world first manifested
itself when she was seven years old.

Since then she has devoted her life to
developing expertise in interspecies
interactions so she can gracefully
resolve conflictive situations.
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Sister Frances™ is a CPA (Certified PsychoAnimalist)
educated at the IZO (Institute of Zoological Omnitude).

She is also an ordained minister, and the
sole officiant for marriage ceremonies at the
First Theriomorphic Church of Antioch, OK.

She can effortlessly establish rapport with
Mammals ..🦍 🦣
Birds... 🦅 🦤 🦉
> Fish... 🐡 🐠 🦈
Reptiles... 🦎 🐊 🐢
Crustaceans... 🦞 🦀
Dinosaurs...🦕 🦖
Dragons... 🐉
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The Animal Companion Behavioral Adjustment Clinic ®
offers a full range of treatments for all types of annoying,
unsettling, dangerous, or otherwise problematic behaviors.

* Unnecessary vocalizations and inadvertent
emanations: barking, mewing, howling,
whimpering; eructations and flatulence

* Eating disorders: pica (consuming non-food
items), extreme food fussiness, poaching
people food, anorexia nervosa, gluttony

* Unhygienic habits: spraying, slobbering,
sneezing, self-soiling, and licking

* Escape Activities: lockpicking, window
smashing, gate crashing, fence hopping

* Anxieties: separation (boarding kennels,
pet sitters), petsonal care (nail clipping;
fur shampooing, trimming, and coloring)

* Phobias: aural (fireworks, thunder, automobile
backfires); visual (eisoptrophobia: mirrors;
aichmophobia: sharp objects like knives)

* Obsessive Compulsive Disorders: paw washing,
fire hydrant sniffing, constant food bowl
checking, tail chasing, woolgathering

* Aggressiveness: leash pulling, biting, jumping
on people, children, gnomes, or other animals

* Destructiveness: scratching, chewing, digging

* Sexuality concerns: gender orientation uncertainty,
relationship role ambivalence, libidinal fluctuation

* Age-related cognitive decay: chronic forgetfulness,
senile dementia, early onset animal Alzheimer’s
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ADDITIONAL SERVICES

When that sad but inevitable day arrives and your
companion must cross the Rainbow 🌈 Bridge
suitable obsequies⚱️may be arranged at

Noah’s Haven
Chapel


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Resting places of any
dimension are available in

The Lion Lies Down With The Lamb
Memorial Park
 
^ ^ ^ ^ ^
NEW!
You yourself can be interred
beside your companion, united for all
eternity in our recently opened

Assisi Gardens
Sematary

🌹.🌼.🐍.🌺.🪻
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Office hours, Monday-Friday
11 a.m. – 5:00 p.m.
or by appointment
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Bulls , bison 🦬, and badgers 🦡 are not
permitted in the China Shop without a leash.

Short-term residential accommodations
are available for our toilet-trained friends.
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WE DO NOT ACCEPT PETICARE
If your companion is not enrolled in a
private sector petical plan, a deposit
will be required prior to any treatment.

NO PERSONAL CHECKS
Deposits can be paid with cash,
credit cards, crypto, or Krugerrands.

Repetitious clientele are
eligible for deep discounts.
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TO VISIT OUR PARTNER
LORENA’S CUTLERY
CLICK THE BLADE
🔪