HOMAGES
Conversations with other writers
Will de Kypia

The Other Thing
.………With Nobody
n
___________

“Despair” is the thing with scales -
That crouches on the soul -
And drones a harsh and wordless tune -
And never stops - at all -

And bitterest - in the Calm - is heard -
And hot must be the sun -
That could abash the little Fiend
That chilled so many numb -

I’ve heard it in the warmest land -
And on the best-known Sea -
Yet - never - I can Guarantee,
It gave a crumb - to me.

Gladamous, Sadamous
With the unknown author of Hogamous, Higamous
(Attributed to Mrs. Amos Pinchot and others)

Going down gladamous
Eels are catadromous,
Rising up sadamous
Salmon anadromous.

Episcopal Mayhem
For Lizzie Borden___
With Elizabeth Bishop .
and Anonymous………

Lizzy Bishop took an axe and
Gave the man-moth forty whacks.
When she saw what she had done
She gave the woman forty-one.

How Many Miles to Venus?
___A SciFi Nursery Rhyme
__.._With Mother Goose,
__.____Dean Swift,
_________and
__.._Cyril the Futurian
.
Little Jack Horner
Sat in his corner
Guzzling chardonnay,

While Little Miss Muffett
Sat on her fat tuffet
Gobbling curds and whey.

Along came a Houyhnhnm
Who stood right beside them
And said in a voice very grim:

"We, as lords of this coveted planet,
Choose which breeds can dwell upon it,
Which brutes should be sent far away.

Yahoos do things that make us shudder.
You trample the grain, kill and eat cats,
Suck cow's milk right from the udder.

Ugly, stupid, unclean, you beasts
Have caused the obscene ruination
Of this once pristine habitation.

We held a referendum today to
Decide if you wretches should stay.
The result was a loud unanimous 'Neigh.'

To provide ample distance between us
We are shipping you humanoids steerage
Via the next non-stop rocket to Venus.

Your nasty race we'll replace with one imported
From space which—although anatomically bipedal—
Possesses considerable intellectual mettle.

They're called Klingons.

So long, see you never, bye-bye,
And what a good horsey am I!"

The History of California,
_.. Continued
_. With Mark Twain
.….(Maybe)
.
The miner wore his muscle shirt
and was looking even hotter,

The whore had stuffed her golden
nuggets into a large and lacy halter,

The two rolled upon the barroom
floor once more, then came
the native daughter.

The Mongoose's Tale
Not with Rudyard Kipling-\_
Who pronounced it —_-_
Rikky-tikky-tar-vi_.—.__
.
One day young Rikki-Tikki-Tavi
Joined the bloomin' Royal Navy
Where a swabbie brave was he
Until the sea got misbehavey.

He puked a mess of cobra gravy,
His mongoose mind it went all ravey,
And he leapt from H.M.S. into a wavey.

His churlish mates refused to save he,
Now he moulders in your locker, Davy,
I mean he's buried in his grave, see?

If you are not some whoreson knavey
Do children everywhere one big favey—
Spring Rikki-Tikki from that enclavey.

____________________________________________________________


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