HOMAGES
Conversations with other writers
Will de Kypia

The Other Thing
..With Emily Dickinson
_______
._Nobody's Friend

“Despair” is the thing with scales -
That crouches on the soul -
And drones the windy tuneless song -
And never stops - at all -

And sharpest - in the Calm - is heard -
And hot must be the sun -
That could abash the little Fiend
That chilled so many numb -

I’ve heard it in the grimmest land -
And on the cruelest Sea -
Yet - never - in Adversity,
It gave a crumb - to me.

Gladamous, Sadamous
With the author of Hogamus, Higamous
(Attributed to Mrs. Amos Pinchot and others)



Going down gladamous
Eels are catadromous,
Rising up sadamous
Salmon anadromous.

Episcopal Mayhem
For Lizzie Borden___
With Elizabeth Bishop .
and Anonymous………
🪓__.
Lizzy Bishop took an axe and
Gave the man-moth forty whacks.
When she saw what she had done
She gave the woman forty-one.

The History of California,
Continued
With Mark Twain
(Maybe)


.
The miner wore his muscle shirt
and was looking even hotter,

The whore had stuffed her golden nuggets
into a very large and lacy halter,

The two rolled upon the barroom
floor once more, then came
the native daughter.

How Many Miles to Venus?
___A SciFi Nursery Rhyme
__.._With Mother Goose,
__.____Dean Swift,
_________and
__.._Cyril the Futurian

_..____

Little Jack Horner
Sat in his corner
Guzzling chardonnay,

While Little Miss Muffett
Sat on her fat tuffet
Gobbling curds and whey.

Along came a Houyhnhnm
Who stood right beside them
And said in a voice very grim:

"We, as lords of this coveted planet,
Choose which breeds can dwell upon it,
Which brutes should be sent far away.

Yahoos do things that make us shudder.
You trample the grain, kill and eat cats,
Suck cow's milk right from the udder.

Ugly, stupid, unclean, you beasts
Have caused the obscene ruination
Of this once pristine habitation.

We held a referendum today to
Decide if you wretches should stay.
The result was a loud unanimous 'Neigh.'

To provide ample distance between us
We are shipping you humanoids steerage
Via the next non-stop rocket to Venus.

Your nasty race we'll replace with one imported
From space which—although anatomically bipedal—
Possesses considerable intellectual mettle.

They're called Klingons.

So long, see you never, bye-bye,
And what a good horsey am I!"

Rikki-Tikki-Tavi,
Jolly Jack Tar
A Child's Entreaty to Davy Jones
But not with Rudyard Kipling
who pronounced it
Rikky-tikky-tar-vi


..
So one day Rikki-Tikki-Tavi up and joined
the bloomin' Royal Navy where a swabbie very
brave was he till the sea got misbehavey.

Rikki puked a mess of cobra soaked in gravy
then his puny mongoose mind just went all ravey
and he jumped from that HMS into a wavey.

All his churlish mates refused to save he,
now poor Rikki's sleeping in your locker, Davy,
I mean the bloody ocean is his grave, see?

If you are not some whoreson knavey
please do kids everywhere a HUGE favey —
Spring Rikki-Tikki from his enclavey!
____________________________________________________________


Click the wings to FLY!